3-D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy

The ultimate message is creepily anti-sex, but, in fairness, the preceding two hours would put just about anyone off.

Nasty.

The recent 3D Lovers Guide was sexier and more three-dimensional.

Torture porn fodder.

Two minutes 48 seconds of cuts by the BBFC have taken the edge off some unnecessary sadism, but the brush-written credits remain the highlight.

If three-dimensional boobs are your thing, this Chinese skinfest ticks some boxes. If not, this packs all the sexual thrills of a baguette. Avoid like a case of the crabs.

The film definitely never short changes its audience, and packs in more than enough sex and silliness to entertain fans or the curious

For me, the tedium and the 3Dium were occasionally alleviated by counting the number of characters named Dong or Hung.

Probably the only place you can see a 20ft male member bursting out of a cinema screen.