A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III

This giant turkey was produced, written, and directed by Roman Coppola, who must have thought the dumb fantasy sequences, steeped in movieland imagery, would remind people of 8-1/2 (or, at the very least, Head).

The audience finds out just how long 84 minutes can be. The answer: really long.

Perhaps the best thing that can be said about the film is that it adequately depicts the narcissism of its star ...

A film is a terrible thing to waste.

The execution ... is perilously self-absorbed ...

Proves two things - that Charlie Sheen is a better actor than his public persona and stint on Two and a Half Men may have led you to believe and that he needs to find a character to prove that instead of this riff on his real-life drama.

Crafted like a sort of watered down Wes Anderson sketch, Coppola fails to utilize his main attraction effectively, and thwarts us with this tonally awkward exercise.

Though the transitions from real to imagined can be jarring, the picture remains cohesive because the discussions between scenes remain consistent.

A bigger Cluster-Sheen I could hardly imagine.

It's rare to witness a film with such a profound disconnect between the director's intention and the final product. It's clear Coppola is striving for some kind of meaningful sublime statement but in reality he has created an interminably vacuous picture.