Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked

The opening 20 minutes or so play like nothing more than a widescreen Carnival Cruise commercial, everything so glossy and superficial you can almost feel the spray tan ooze down your arm.

Flails about in search of a creative reason to exist.

Ratatouille aside, our children should not be playing with disease-carrying rodents.

The obvious nods to Castaway, Lost and other pop culture references are barely worth a grin.

Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked. This is one munkventure you don't want to miss!

Parents, however, may shudder when the Chipettes gyrate to Lady Gaga's Bad Romance.

The most important thing to keep in mind is that Alvin and the Chipmunks is firmly targeted at kids.

Patently, obviously unacceptable on any kind of storytelling level.