Conan the Barbarian

A dynamite movie for comic book fans... The moment Thulsa Doom turns into a snake will either thrill you or make you squirm, but you will watch in fascination.

There is a real anticipation as Schwarzenegger is unveiled as the barbarian and sets off on the road to independence. But for whatever reasons, the actor has a minimum of dialog and fails to convey much about the character through his actions.

Match verdict: no goals, slow build-up, but much absorbing action off the ball.

Not since Bambi's mother was killed has there been a cannier movie for kids than Conan the Barbarian.

Conan the Barbarian is an extremely long, frequently incoherent, ineptly staged adventure-fantasy set in a prehistoric past.

Schwarzenegger has probably never been better-cast.

In many ways silly and strident, it’s still marvelous barbarian pulp, a beefcake fantasy of myth and magic built from grandiose sets, a magnificent score (one of the best from composer Basil Poledouris) and endless he-man matches of blood and brawn.

Instead of placating his audience with a safe, PG-rated adventure, Milius does the opposite and narrows his viewership with an R-rated epic driven by some heady ideas and a concentration on narrative over adventurous derring-do.

Conan is terrible, a truly disappointing movie from beginning to end.

This is a film that lives in moments: the attack on Conan’s village&#59; the “crush your enemies” scene&#59; Conan practicing his swordsmanship on a windswept steppe&#59; all enveloped in Basil Poledouris’ stirring, stentorian, never-bettered score.