Fountain of Youth

James Vanderbilt’s screenplay flashes some cheeky references (including one about a Vanderbilt) but there are no big surprises to be had here.

Given all the elements involved, Fountain Of Youth should be a blast. That it isn’t is a real disappointment. Maybe best left buried.

This is mediocrity personified.

From the shallow characterisations and the jumpy plotting to the flat CGI, Fountain of Youth is no bounty worth seeking.

It’s a movie designed as functional entertainment, and for lack of a better word it functions.

Ritchie remains lacking in his ability to direct actors. John Krasinski, Eiza González and Natalie Portman all star in “Fountain of Youth,” and they’ve never been so unappealing.

For audiences who like everything handed to them on a plate Fountain of Youth might work. What story there is requires no effort to understand, and production values are consistently solid , but it relies too heavily on recycled genre tropes.

This movie is a mishmash of a low-rent Da Vinci Code, shoehorned in with some Raiders of the Lost Ark, and a sprinkle of The Mummy. It's a Frankenstein movie where they try to put all these parts together and none of them quite work.

Playful and silly, there’s fun to be had with the film’s high-energy sequences and impressive global backdrop. Yet Fountain of Youth ultimately feels derivative, messy and confused.

Hollywood has lost the ability to buckle swash. Guy Ritchie, shamelessly stealing from Indiana Jones, gives us a charmless treasure hunt that feels honed by corporate focus groups and cinematic SEO.