Halloween

Because it's still about Michael Myers, it all feels epic and larger than life in a way few of those other films do.

The result, though undeniably preferable to yet another misbegotten installment of the long-exhausted franchise, certainly doesn't compare to John Carpenter's landmark original film.

Taking 50 minutes to get to the present where the original took five, here we are offered something resembling justification for why poor little Mikey beat and stabbed his way to infamy.

This take on Halloween is grim and nasty, but never remotely scary.

[Zombie] demystifies everything Carpenter’s film made legendary in the most banal ways.

It may not be the standout Zombie was hoping for, but Halloween finds its own brutal identity along the way while still honoring the original it is based on.

The last hour of the film maintains a pace that sells the slasher as something unique. Ultimately, the first half sinks this one, and leaves the Halloween from 2007 a step below the average horror flick.

It's commendable how bold Zombie is at making a celebrated classic his own. Unfortunately, his version just isn't very good. Per usual, Zombie's poorly written and intentionally gross dialogue overshadows his clear talent as a director.