Nine Lives

There's not a laugh to be had.

It is a mystery, though, why Barry Sonnenfeld (director of The Addams Family and Men In Black) and his cast were drawn to such skittish material.

Like a bargain-basement version of Freaky Friday crossed with a cat meme, the comedy here is inert, despite the efforts of a psychotically chipper musical score.

Nothing here looks like a genuine interaction between real human beings: Spacey may be the first actor to give a comedic performance in which his own smile looks like it had to be green-screened in at a later date.

The script is stupid and debasing, subjecting the tycoon to numerous cat-piss and emasculation jokes after he turns into "Mister Fuzzypants."

This cat-astrophe about a megalomaniacal New York City real estate developer and businessman (dingdingding!) who finds himself trapped inside the body of a fussy feline called "Mister Fuzzypants" is, paws down, the year's worst film.

You watch it and just wonder how in the world did this get made? I want to see the documentary about the making of Nine Lives.

[Nine Lives] is a children's movie made by people who not only don't understand children, but may actively hate children. It is unfunny and condescending, a collective collection of paychecks.

Every once in a while, a movie comes along that makes you scratch your head and ask yourself, "What were they thinking?" Nine Lives is one of those movies.

It's offensive how the film treats animals as disposable and replaceable instead of beloved members of the family.