Tango & Cash

'Tango & Cash' turns 25 years old next month, which means if it were a person, it'd be right around the right age to start realizing what a stupid movie 'Tango & Cash' is.

The jokes seem lame and the rivalry fraudulent, as the two boys play with their big guns.

The film looks like the sort of queasy fever dream that might be produced by sitting through an entire Orson Welles film festival while eating pepperoni pizzas.

Both men think that the best way to deliver the right to remain silent to the usual suspects is via a right hook.

Tango and Cash is a waste of talent and energy on all levels: unworthy of Konchalovsky, unworthy also of Stallone, Russell and every superior technical credit on the film.

The ostensible humor here is of the macho one-liner variety, and much of it falls flat.

Average direction, average script, average everything.

Tango and Cash is at least active and acrobatic… not too bad. [Full review in Spanish]

Stallone and Russell are entirely watchable as two larger-than-life juggernauts portraying the same cheeky tough-guy characters they always play in their actioners.

That 'Tango & Cash' was an undeserved testament to the action cinema of the eighties is evidence that the implacable judge called time has revealed it in a more than painful way. [Full Review in Spanish]