Poolman

Poolman (2024), starring Chris Pine, is easily one of the most confusing and quirky films I’ve ever seen—and not in a good way. I found myself lost for most of the movie, with little understanding of what was actually happening. The writing was absolutely atrocious—some of the worst I’ve seen in modern cinema. This film would definitely land in my top 50 worst movies of all time. The direction was sloppy, the acting felt phoned in, and the script was nearly impossible to follow. I honestly don’t think the average viewer could make sense of it, even if they tried. At the end of the day, this felt like one of those rushed passion projects—where someone writes a script, thinks it’s genius, and fast-tracks it to the big screen without realizing it only makes sense to their mom (who’s just being supportive). That’s how the movie plays out. That’s how it feels. Even Chris Pine and Danny DeVito looked like they had no idea what was going on.

I am genuinely surprised at how universally panned this was. I absolutely loved it. And I thought his realization about the tree at the end gave the movie tremendous meaning. This is a great, simple noir film. God forbid anyone have dialogue in a movie for f's sake!

If you asked me about Poolman I'd say it's not that deep. But on a deeper level I'd say...Poolman is painfully relatable. Wanting to be alone whilst struggling with lonliness. Drowning under the weight of feeling abandoned and searching for connections where there are none to be found. Watching the world move on whilst you remain stuck. Not knowing how to love or be loved. Then BAM at the end that feeling of joy aftwr being in the dark for so long, swimming to the surface and finding pure joy in life, regardless of circumstance.

It is clear CP had a vision of something akin L.A.-noir, and works hard at being incisive with whatever story the underpinning vision is meant to tell. At times redolent of the Coens (Big Lebowski), and at others shrieking Baumbach and Anderson (with a smattering of Lynch for good measure), CP’s technique is over-indulgent, grandiose, and maybe even delusional. However, kudos to him for casting eclectic talent. It smacks of something obscure that a great director played with at the start of their creative journey, that grows to be a much-admired cult movie as a result… I’m just not sure this is going to be the case for CP’s career as a director. In fact, I hope this is where his time in the chair begins and ends

Pine and Leigh have zero chemistry. The director didn’t do Leigh any favors as she lacks attractiveness and charm. Pine looks ragged as well. Devito tries to reprise his performance in Tin Men as he rattles on about mundane topics that makes you want to give him the speech Martin gave Candy in Trains, Planes and Automobiles (watching on Hulu with ads — the ads were actually a relief.

I like Chris Pine, Jennifer , Annette and Dany but this is one of the most disappointing movie to include real talent. The problem is that the script belongs to absurd theater...sad to see such a waste. Maybe it will be better with a great editor.

Chris Pine and his cast delivers solid performances and he is capable behind the camera but the script is unfocused and unfunny

Caught the preview in the theater awhile back and thought it looked okay, then it popped up on one of my streaming services so I decided to be spontaneous and give it a watch. Disappointing. Too much meaningless dialogue in a sketchy plot where not much happens.

there are moments i enjoyed, but few and far between. i'd say the best sequence is the opening when he's testing/cleaning the pool, but even that is interrupted clumsily by the most overplayed opera song possible. there's a lot of weird camp, a lot of weird commentary that seems out of touch and quite patronizing towards the issues of gentrification being discussed. if this were written and directed by someone else, chris could have done alright in this sort of aging ken doll role, but i don't think he is able to fully perceive the flaws in his own creative process. its not the worst thing ive ever seen at all, but it's strikingly empty and purposeless. i will say that it takes an unfortunate type of talent to hire danny devito and not be able to get a funny performance out of him.

What a huge disappointment for such a promising cast. It’s trying SO hard to be Elmore Leonard-esque and missing horribly. Honestly it was just unwatchable for me. Disjointed, frenetic, and quirky, but in all the worst ways. Don’t waste your time.